2015 – Revelation, Restitution & Resolution

My kids have the right to be safe and treated with respect.

My three daughters (ages 2, 7 and 13) are my greatest teachers. Thanks to them, and my Angel of a wife, my life is a never-ending loop of learning, listening and letting go of old ideas - not always in that order.

Kids don’t know they have these basic rights unless we tell them. As a parent it is my job, not only to keep them safe, but also to instill them with the core belief that they deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

My oldest daughter is a random bit of perfection - the unintended consequence of a particularly imperfect relationship. After a bitter custody dispute she now lives with my ex - nine hours and a ferry ride away. The adjustment to this new arrangement has been a difficult and painful experience for all involved. Of course, the greatest burden fell on my child, who is least equipped to deal with it.

For me, getting past the resentment and self-incrimination from an embattled custody dispute has been both challenging and rewarding. A reluctant gratitude has slowly replaced the depression, anger and self-pity that once occupied that space. This dark circumstance is now the foundation for a richer, more substantial life as a parent, husband and human being.

As a long distance Dad, I am learning to distill my parenting into weekly phone calls and quarterly visits. This past Christmas she was home for just over two weeks. I had every intention of packing three months of parenting into this time a series of informative lectures and clever anecdotes with subtle double meanings. (Ugh! It can be exhausting being me sometimes)

In the end, I spared her and took a more passive approach.

I decided that listening and spending time with her would be more effective. She’s been through a lot and deserves a break from our broken home. The result was a relaxed and enjoyable visit spending time together. We engaged in light conversations that centered on playful dialogue and banter rather than teaching, lecturing and (not so) clever manipulations.

Towards the end of the visit we got into a spontaneous conversation about personalities, family and relationships. We talked about the assets and challenges of our personalities – the stuff we’re stuck with. We talked about how our assets become challenges if not put to good purpose and how we can create value from challenges.

But most of all we talked about safety and respect.

I found myself saying safety and respect starts with the family. Above all else we deserve safety and respect in our homes.

The bad thing about parental advice is we have to follow it ourselves. Talk is cheap – it is our actions that send the loudest message. As the words came out I flashed to the times I raised my voice in frustration or got short when she would doddle, mumble or ignore me.

I acknowledged the mistakes I made over the years and committed to doing better. Most importantly I open the door for communication. Life is busy and if we aren’t open to feedback, it’s easy to get off track.

But nothing changes if nothing changes.

I asked if there was anything I could do to make her life a little better. Without skipping a beat she said, “Can you and Mom try to get along better?.” My inside voice said, “Couldn’t I just roll around in thumbtacks or watch the Sex and the City movie?”

This is a simple, honest request from a child. According to me, it is a basic human right. I am obligated to be respectful and kind – even when it’s inconvenient. 

I have always been a champion of the underdog. Now I see my girls stand up for those less fortunate. It is this quality that gives me the most pride as a father.

Through the magic process of passive parenting and dialogue, I stumbled onto a simple, but powerful, idea.

“When we are kind and respectful we attract kind and respectful people - unkind and disrespectful people become tiresome and fall from our lives through a process of natural selection."

My Daughter(s) taught me that.

This idea is not a new; however, it is the personal path we travel that creates a quality understanding and helps us put new, and sometime uncomfortable, ideas into action.

The visit ended on the First Day of the Year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Fifteen. Dropping her off was a little less painful than usual. When I gave her mom a hug and wished her a Happy New Year she watched closely from of the corner of her eye … smiling.

Actions speak louder than words.

In the spirit of action and good purpose, I am going to be kinder and more respectful in my relationships with the other humans. When I encounter unkind or disrespectful conditions I will do my best to respond the way my daughter taught me. If it becomes unsafe I will remove my loved ones and myself from the situation – not out of fear, but out of love.

This is also my wish for you.

Best, Sam Edge

The Secret to Living Life On Purpose

The other day I told my 7-year daughter to ask me anything about any subject, and promised to answer her truthfully.

Without skipping a beat, she said, “Who made God?”

B-Bang! She had that one right in the chamber. I was thinking something more like “why her big sister has a different Mommy”, or even, “where do babies come from?”

But she’s at the age where some things don’t quite add up. Even the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny have fallen under suspicion. She’s obviously been thinking about this and hasn’t heard an answer that makes sense to her.

It’s a fair question.

We’ve all taken a shot at it - awake at night trapped in a never-ending loop, ‘if God created the universe, then who created God?

Retire From The Debating Society

When it comes to divine intelligence we are in good company, the greatest thinkers throughout history have wrestled with our origin story. It’s the single greatest cause of war and in history. Billions of people have died defending or asserting their understanding of God.

If we want to argue over God, there’s no shortage of ammunition. Picking holes in historical contradictions and pointing out the hypocrisies of religion is easy – and a complete waste of time.  

What difference does it make if we crawled from primordial ooze, the Garden of Eden or a Raven’s egg? It’s the quality of our actions today that count. We all have to choose our own path. If we’re lucky we find one that works for us, and move on. But some get stuck and spend months, years, decades defending, arguing and condemning.

This is where faith comes in – either in God, science, or something in between. Until we decide where we want to put our faith, we are lost in the muck of uncertainty and endless debate.

Among other things, faith is great for winning arguments. My wife is a devout Christian. She grew up in the Church and it’s all she’s ever known.

She also has a science degree. I found this to be an unacceptable contradiction. I demanded she explain how she reconciles the two. She told me she doesn’t. She believes in God, and science, and doesn’t bother with the contradictions.

I began to explain to her a strategy for mounting a proper argument. She stopped me mid-sentence, and said, “Who said we were arguing.”

That shut me up.

I learned a lot from her simple, elegant approach to religion and science. This happy acceptance is a quality that I have struggled with. It comes from the confidence of knowing who you are and what you believe – and not fighting it.

This is the advantage to true conviction of belief.

Living Life On Purpose 

Once we free up our minds from the debating society treadmill, we can put this energy to good purpose.  We can focus on taking actions that make our lives better today. There will always be high-minded ideas that we can indulge in. But let’s not indulge in them at the expense of today’s happiness or the happiness of those around us.

There is no shortage of things we can do today that can make a difference. Boring things like:

1.     Recycling and caring for the planet,

2.     Reading to our kids,

3.     Spending time with our spouses,

4.     Helping others and being kind,

5.     Developing and sharing our creativity.

These are small things we can do to make the world a better place – giving back, communicating and creating beauty. They are also the things that get lost in the shuffle when we indulge in endless, internal, debates about unknowable subjects. If we have energy to spare, why not put this to good purpose?

In the end, I took the easy way out with my daughter’s question about God. I told her it was not something 7-year olds need to worry about, and one day she was going to have to figure it out for herself - but not today.

Then I read her a book about princesses.

·      How are you making the world a better place?

·      What could you do more of?

·      What’s stopping you?

Please leave answers, or comments below.

Best, Sam Edge

P.S. I’m just getting ready to launch a website on career and employment services “The Edge on Resumes”.  This site will focus on providing free advise for your professional life and review helpful websites and services. Check it out.

As always you can visit The Edge on Strategy for more about me and how to hire me for your writing projects.

7 Books Every Writer Needs to Read

Writers write – but we also read. We read to become better writers, to tell better stories, to grow our knowledge base, and to give weight and substance to our writing. But most of all, we read because we love new ideas - or at least I do.

The Information Economy has created a demand for authentic, helpful and engaging writing. Word processing and blogging have combined to reduce the barriers to entry for new writers – millions upon millions of words are written and distributed worldwide every day through home computers, tablets and smart phones.

But good writing is difficult to produce. It is as hard today as it was in days of quill pens and printing presses. It takes talent, hard work and sweat. I get annoyed when I read the Gurus telling us that writing is a simple matter of writing the way we speak - that it’s easy and anyone can do it.

I disagree.

It’s true that anyone can write. And yes, almost anyone can be taught to communicate using the written word. But to put writing on equal ground with speaking is misleading. Those same Gurus were telling us ten years ago that 95% of all communication is non-verbal.

How does this non-verbal communication translate into writing? This is the difference between writing and great writing.

I credit my parents, as book-lovers and television-haters, for reading to me extensively as a youngster. They ignited a love for great stories like: “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”, “The Hobbit” and “Treasure Island”. The pages of these stories fed my developing imagination, and engaged my creativity, in a way that no 3D, Blue Ray, Dolby surround sound experience ever could.

These stories triggered a love for great writing that I carried into my adolescent and adult life. Relationships forged with iconic characters such as: Huckleberry Finn, Gandalf the Grey and Long John Silver, continue to inspire me to this day.

We all have strengths and weaknesses in writing, as in life. A good writer knows what these are – they polish their strengths and overcome their weaknesses.

I started life with a solid grasp of writing and a well-told story. I used this to my advantage in business for many years. But I stopped reading for pleasure, and for many years I read only for information. I didn’t actively develop my creative muscles and eventually my writing atrophied. When I decided to start writing content and blogging full time I found I had a lot to learn – or unlearn - from years of stale business communications. In business writing we are often faced with the unfortunate task of simultaneously dumbing down our message and sounding smarter than we really are. It is our writing, along with our dignity, that suffers.

Over the last few years I’ve written and I’ve read – a lot.

Most of us like to think we have talent – and we probably do. But talent only gets you a seat at the table. It’s hard work, and practice, that pays for dinner.

I’ve made a point of reading as many books on writing as possible since starting my journey into creative non-fiction in 2012. I’ve read dozens of books. Some were indispensable, some were a waste of precious time, and some I didn’t bother finishing.

I’ve taken time below to share the best in class of these books and what I took away from them. I consider them to be essential for every library – regardless of what you write or how much you write. Everyone who uses writing to communicate can benefit from these books.

Fiction writers may find this list less relevant. I have only dabbled in short stories to this point in my career; however, I do plan on writing more fiction in the future. That being said, all writing is storytelling to some degree – and by that standard this is as good a place to start as any.

The Elements of Writing 

These three books form the basic elements of all non-fiction writing: style, business communications and editing. The first on the list, The Elements of Style, is the inspiration for the other two. There is little excitement or passion in these pages – but there is time-honored wisdom. These are the nuts and bolts of writing. The keys to clear well-written prose are found here:

The Elements of Style, William Strunk & E.B. White.

This potent little book is less than 95 pages, including a glossary, and is considered by most to be the basic text for writing in the English language. It’s humble beginnings as a course curriculum supplement prepared by William Strunk toward the end of the First World War reached widespread readership and approval when it was revised and published more than thirty years later by E.B. White. It sets the standard for our language that has been recognized by writers and publishers for more than forty years.

Its lean and precise content gives it sufficient weight and depth without bogging us down in the minutia of dangling participles and oxford commas.  The forward, by Roger Agnell, acknowledges that “writing is hard” but if we can follow the simple directions laid out in this book “at least we can get the elements right.” I keep this book within reach at all times.

The Elements of Business Writing, Gary Blake & Robert W. Bly.

This book is slightly longer and less potent. At 131 pages divided into seven ‘principles’ it still packs a punch. It was written as the business version of The Elements of Style - boasting the subtitle, “The Essential Guide to Writing Clear, Concise Letters, Memos, Reports, Proposals and Other Business Documents”. 

It’s hard for me to imagine the adult who does not need to write some or all of these documents in the course of their life. It is written as a stand-alone book from The Elements of Style and may be preferred by some. There are significant differences between the two books. With its specific business communication focus it is an important addition to the writer’s library.

The Elements of Editing, Arthur Plotnik.

Writing and rewriting is the domain of the serious writer. The Elements of Editing hails from the same publisher as The Elements of Style, and is written as a direct supplement to the original. It is an important piece of the writing puzzle. 

This is the final of the three books I've chosen to round out this section. It is worth familiarizing yourself with to understand the editing process, how it fits into your writing routine. Study it to understand specific editing processes and principles that will make your final copies polished and professional. 

The Craft of Writing

The previous books deal with the elements of writing - these books deal with the craft of writing. Here we move into writing as a vocation. These books I’ve selected are written from three distinct, and important, perspectives. They are essential reading if you want to understand the writing process beyond the basic elements.  

On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Non-Fiction, William Zinsser

This has been the bible for writing non-fiction for over a generation. William Zinsser is an accomplished author, editor and teacher. He takes us through the principles, methods, forms, and attitudes of writing. He does not deal with writing at the level of detail as the previous books; however, it looks at writing as a craft in much more depth.

Originally written in 1978 it has been revised over the years to remain relevant. The 30th Anniversary edition, published in 2008, includes a section on how to write a family history, or memoir. This new section is included in response to the growing popularity of the self-help memoir that has become popular by mixing real life experiences with lessons learned and advice that comes from these experiences. Of the three in this section it is the most technical; however, it also makes a point of how we can write simple clear prose without sacrificing passion, vision and even beauty.

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, Stephen King

As the title suggests, King mixes his views and experiences as one of the most prolific writers of a generation with his own life story. This unique and amazing look at the craft of writing is a must for the storyteller in all of us. 

The greatest gift I received from this book was the idea that stories are like fossils, and writing is a process of excavation more than creation. It completely changed the way I approached writing, and it is a book that I will read over many times in my career.

If You Want to Write: A Book About Independence and Spirit, Branda Ueland

Wow.

If The Elements of Style is the basic text for form and structure in writing, this is its antithesis. Absolutely everyone who wants to express themselves through their writing must read this book. There were times when I was so inspired that I had to stop reading and just write something - anything. She wrote this book late in her life (I believe she was in her 90’s) after a lifetime of writing and teaching young writers.

Her gift is to inspire greatness in all of us and help us find our voice. She tells us to find the “magic of our ten year old selves” and “write like a pirate”. Thanks to  Brenda, I now swashbuckle at every opportunity.

She evokes the powerful creative genius of William Blake (my all time favorite iconoclast) and the great Russian writer, Dostoyevsky. She draws on examples of pure writing from her students and takes the time to dissect and explain why it is creative, honest and wonderful in its own way. Buckle up for this one and enjoy the ride.

She is my hero.

Writing Magazine Articles

The Magazine Article: How to Think It, Plan It, Write It, Peter Jacobi

I’ve read a few books on article writing; in fact Williams Zinssers’s book could fall into this category. But Peter Jacobi’s book gives us the basic elements of a good article, as well as the creative inspiration to give more of ourselves in our writing. 

One of the early chapters is what we can learn from poetry in writing articles. This creative slant, juxtaposed against a systematic process for researching, outlining, and writing articles make this book best in class.

Bonus Book

The Ode Less Travelled, Steven Fry

This is the wild card and it's from an unlikely source – actor Steven Fry. Fry calls poetry, ‘his dirty little secret’. He gives an entertaining but technical account of poetic form and structure, taking us through rhyme, meter and an exhaustive list of technical poetic devices. When applied properly, these devices can give our writing the volume and depth that is lacking in the information rich content writing we find online today.

If you are looking for a solid underpinning in poetic expression, this is the book for you. Fry steers clear of free verse - that relies primarily on imagery, as opposed to rhyme, meter and structure of the traditional forms.

Websites and Blogs for Writers

This post focuses on books on writing, but there is no shortage of quality, online content on the subject. There's also a lot of junk. I've spent more than my share of time weeding out the junk and finding the keepers.

Here's my regular stops on the Blogosphere:

1. Blogging and Writing: Goins Writer 
2. Writing: Write to Done.
3. Content Marketing: The Sales Lion.
4. Kindle Publishing: Steve Scott.
5. Freelance Markets: Funds for Writers.

All of these bloggers have quality free eBooks available on their sites. They also provide regular, quality, information that is genuine and helpful. I’ve come to trust their content as authentic and relevant to writing in the 21st Century. They all provide both free and paid services. For the most part I use them as a free resource; however, I have also bought various eProducts from them and I have never been disappointed.

This list is hardly the end of the line. There are some truly excellent resources through Writer's Digest Magazine and Writer's Market series that could occupy another whole post. The content of these combined resources could occupy me for the rest of my life. Even then I would  have work to do. Writing is a process and each day, week, month and year brings new insights and exciting epiphanies. Sometimes our writing will suffer as we dart recklessly down a new path based on new ideas that have not yet matured. But for the most part our writing always improves over time, as long as we strive to be better and keep our eyes and ears open.

I hope these resources bring you the same utility and creative insight as they have to me.

Best, Sam Edge
The Edge on Strategy

Disclosure: I am not affiliated with any of these sites.

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Purchase on 'Samazon'

I've created an Amazon favorites list based on the recommendations of this post. I've tried to find the most relevant editions that are available in paperback and kindle formats. If you purchase through Sam's Amazon links (I call this 'Samazon') I receive a small consideration at no extra cost to you. Thanks in advance for those of you supporting my site.

These are my top picks - what are yours? Share in the comments below.

The Edge of Creativity

“I’m an artist. You give me a tuba and I’ll get something out of it.” John Lennon

The Creative Process:

My grandfather was Canadian artist, Jack Hambleton. Until I was six, I lived upstairs from his art gallery in Kelowna, British Columbia. I spent hours watching him paint his signature landscapes and harbour scenes.

Christmas Harbour Scene, by Jack Hambleton

Occasionally, he would explain what he was doing - but usually he worked silent, thoughtful and with the purpose and confidence of a pro. I was also to remain silent, if I wanted to stay. Anticipation grew in the silence, as mysterious shapes came into focus. To me it was magic.

It wasn’t until recently, as I’ve been refocusing my own creative process, that I realized the impact he had on me. He taught me a creative process that is now an important part of my life. 

The basic elements are: 

a) create an outline, 

b) build a solid foundation, and 

c) add detail.

But it is much more than that. I was a fly on the wall - a small part of the rhythm and connection that flowed from artist to art. It was a feeling. Like the pleasure release triggered from listening to a favourite song.

This experience was fuel for my artistic fire. As a community planner; maps, graphs, and text were the tools I created and folded into environmental reports and strategic plans. Before that, I worked as a prospector, and there was the same satisfaction when a program was completed with proper care and attention.

This principle of creativity, this magic, is everywhere – if we are aware, and willing to work at it. To the right person, in the right setting, there is elegance and beauty in mathematics, psychology, carpentry, law and the trades. Even a well-constructed outhouse can slide into place, producing that magical effect.

The 5-Year Plan:

I have a 5-year attention span - everything from relationships to hairstyles turns stale after five years.  This has the potential to cause me no end of trouble, if I am not prepared. Falling in love every five years is downright dangerous. I’ve been with my wife for 11 years now. We work at our relationship, and it keeps getting better. Having children is also a great way to break the 5-year cycle – they’re keepers.

The trick is to keep the magic alive when possible, and recognize when it’s time for a change. If we apply some simple strategic tools in our lives, we can align our actions with our ambitions, and gain self-awareness.

If we know where we are going, and where we have been, we have basic self-awareness. The 5-year plan is a great tool for tracking our patterns. I’ve followed a 5-year plan since I was twenty-five. It’s not rocket science. I write down one goal from each main area of my life: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Over the years, the focus moves around as I try to find balance. It's a work in progress.

Flexibility is key. I do a gut-check every year to make sure I don’t lose sight of the big picture. I usually surpass my expectations; however, 40 snuck up on me, and I got off track for a while. But that ended up being a good thing. My mid–life crisis made me realize I had twenty-five productive, professional, years left. It became an opportunity of a lifetime to pursue my passion for writing.

Make a Decision and Commit:

“A loser is someone so afraid of failing that they don’t even try.” Little Miss Sunshine.

Once you’ve made a decision - commit. The good things in life take years to develop – hence the 5-year plan. I take my time deciding, but once I’m in, I dive into the deep end and start swimming.

Grandpa also taught me to, “paint [write, build, etc.] through your amateur-ness”. You’re going to make mistakes – that’s part of any new adventure. You might as well face them head on and get them over with.

Once I decided to write full time, I fired up a blog, and started writing … and writing. Then, I fired up a second blog, and started writing poetry. I purged the decades of technical writing from my system. Since 2012, I’ve written over 100 posts, over 100 poems and self-published 3 eBooks on Amazon Kindle.

Through this process of trial and error I learned a lot. More important, I rekindled the fire smouldering in the pile of rezoning applications, and environmental assessments, that had long since gone stale.

For me it all starts with the fire, lit in my grandpa’s studio all those years ago.

What is that fire for you?

What's stopping you from pursuing it?

Best, Sam Edge

The Edge On Strategy