The Edge of 2014: Resolutions, Goals and Values

It's just past midnight on New Years Eve - 2014 is here! I have a house full of kids on a sleepover - all crazy and hopped upon sugar and my in-laws are over for "games night". I wont get in to specifics, suffice to say this is a substantial departure from my younger days. I had planned to post something on resolutions today - but I kept getting side-tracked.

This is my better-late-than-never-post.

Resolutions are just another term for goals. It is widely accepted that setting goals is a good thing. We set short, medium and long term goals all the time. Even if we don't realize it. Sometimes they work out - sometimes they don't. When they don't we take a look at what happened, make the appropriate adjustments and move forward. In our day to day life this is an easy pill to swallow.

So why all the depression and anxiety around New Years Resolutions?

I've been hearing all day about how resolutions always fall apart in the spring and then we get depressed. So why bother? It's to the point the people get angry and animated when talking about resolutions. Rather than being a chance to practice our goal setting techniques, New Years Resolutions have be become a symbol of failure. It is so bad that suicide increases in the spring are directly attributed to failed resolutions. It takes real effort to turn a sound opportunity for growth into a fatal liability.

But it doesn't have to be this way. I embrace this time of year as time to set goals - a time for a gut-check. It's a great time to reflect on the year that passed, set my sites on the year ahead and put some thought into what I want more of in my life? Personally, I have had a rough couple of years dealing with a bitter custody dispute. I even had problems with addiction rear their ugly head after well over a decade of sobriety. Now, things are sorting themselves out on all fronts and I am feeling stronger that ever. I'm thinking 2014 is going to be a great year.

I recommend using S.M.A.R.T. goals:

• Specific: Our goals should be directly related to our project vision and have a tangible effect on manifesting our vision in our lives.
• Measurable: We want to ensure that we have a quantitative element to our goals so there is no ambiguity as to whether they have been achieved or not. We should be able to strike them off a list as “complete” or “incomplete”
• Achievable: We want our goals to be challenging but possible. A successful strategy for this is to break large goals into a series of smaller ones. We do need to use discretion here and find balance between change and intimidation.
• Relevant: We don’t want to create work. Life is short and economy of our efforts is a key to success. We should be checking back to our vision and ensuring there is a real link to our vision with all of our goals.
• Time-framed: When we set our goals there must always be a time element such as, “This goal will be completed by” or “to do x.y.z. every 2 weeks”. This gives us a schedule and also makes our goals more specific and measurable.

With this framework in place I look the the big three - Family, Work and Health - and identify the priority goals I want to achieve for 2014. By using this accountability framework I've given myself the best chance for success. 

I may fall short. The best laid plan of mice and men ...

If plans go awry, we adapt. It is a double whammy when we let the unrealized goals get to us. First, we didn't achieve what we wanted. And second, we beat ourselves up. This sucks vital energy from us and makes success difficult if not impossible.  To help take away the sting of failure, we look beyond the goals and identify the Values that these goals represent. We make sure those values are consistent with who we are and what we want in life. 

Values may include:

1. Love

2. Health

3. Peace

4. Freedom

These are the things that we want more of in 2014. If we get to April and discover that the specific goals we chose to achieve these values are unrealistic, we simply revisit the SMART goal model. Success and happiness are no longer tied to a set of goals - they are based on values. 

We are successful as long we work towards, and not away from, these values. 

For 2014 I wish you all the love, health, peace and freedom you and your families can manage. 

Best, Sam Edge