My wife and I get along pretty good - for a married couple. As much as we like each other we do get into arguments from time to time. For the most part we are able to avoid arguing because we are rarely both crazy at the same time. Usually when one gets crazy the other one can put on the grown up hat and take one for the team.
Every once in a while, however, our crazy lines up. Then there's really no out. We will both be stressed-out or over-tired, or whatever it is that triggered crazy, and something ridiculous will set off the argument.
The other day I was chasing a deadline and rushing to get some work done after a night of no sleep with 15 cups of coffee in me. Concurrently my wife had been up all night wrestling with our 6 month old who is breast feeding and and teething at the same time - using her nipple as both a milk dispenser and a teething ring (ouch).
We were both at our wits end and to top it off our 6 year old got a bladder infection. System failure. So, genius that I am, I say something to the effect that our daughter wouldn't be sick if only my wife didn't do this or did more of that. It is so ridiculous that I can't even remember the logic. In this case I was clearly being a dick head. Now in order to keep this from escalating to the next level one of two things had to happen:
- I had to immediately apologize for what I said and take it back, or
- She had to immediately forgive me and understand I was having a moment.
On a good day both of these thing would have happened. On an average day one of us would have stepped up and diffused the bomb. But on this day, when crazy was running the house, we both dug in our heels. So we stomped and mumbled and pouted for a while and ultimately went to our seperate corners and came out hugging.
In the end reason did prevail. I apologized and she forgave me and we lived happily ever after. Wouldn't it be great if we could bypass the shenanigans and find a fail proof way from stopping these disputes in their tracks? Often it is only a well placed word that is the difference between a tense moment and complete system failure. When I asked my 6 year-old daughter what we could do to stop crazy in it's tracks she shrugged and said; "well Dad, you guys should just not argue in the first place".
Now why didn't we think of that?
Respectfully, From the Edge...
Ah, the logic of a six-year-old!
ReplyDeleteI love this idea of "our crazy lines up."
Yes the wisdom of our kids!
Delete:) well, she does have a point.
ReplyDeleteYup she sure does.
DeleteSmart kiddo! My favorite line is "Every once in a while, however, our crazy lines up." I know how this feels!
ReplyDeleteIt does line up sometimes
DeleteIts so hard not to say it in the first place...especially during the crazies but at other times too.
ReplyDeleteIt's a work in progress for sure
ReplyDeleteThere will always be times when you say something you regret - I know I do it often. It's great that you and your wife are usually able to resolve it pretty quick.
ReplyDeleteAnd when the crazy lines up, I hope you're able to laugh about it after.
That's the key I believe is laughing about it after. Because really at the end of the day we are on the same team/\.
DeleteHah! If only the crazy never lined up, right? It's all-out nuclear war in our house when my husband and I are both in the crazy.
ReplyDeletelol love the pic of the guy in the doghouse on his laptop :) ....hopefully crazies won't line up again anytime soon ...love you xoxo
ReplyDelete:) ya work on that will ya .... kidding <3
DeleteWhen I am firmly convinced my husband was the one being the jerk, I wish we could fast forward through the day or two it takes him to realize it. ;)
ReplyDeleteDo you find the being right al the time becomes a burden? i know I do:)
DeleteI've learned to accept the fact that I'm always wrong, even when I'm right.
ReplyDeleteYa that or two be can disagree and both be right.
DeleteIt is nuts how sometimes we all dig in our heels when there is something that could easily diffuse. Not sure why we do that, but we do. All of us at one time or another. The logic of just not fighting doesn't quite occur to us in the moment, does it? Nope.
ReplyDeleteNope ver time it gets easier but so far crazy still wins out now and then.
DeleteIt never fails when you are stressed and tired that something "wafer thin" is added to the pile and boom. Some rare occasions I do see it coming and hold my tongue. I'm hoping with age I get better at that.
ReplyDeleteYa that's when it get's away on you when things pile up all at once.
DeleteThe secret to a successful marriage is non-concurrent crazy. Yes! Truer words were never spoken.
ReplyDeleteYes we need offsetting crazy - or consecutive crazy i guess.
Deleteoof.. System Failure is right. Glad you both came out hugging. That's love, even with the crazy.
ReplyDeleteYa thats love and crazy makes the sex better so ...
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