The Edge of Consciousness: Success, Stress and Meditation

Successful people know their limitations. 

We know that there is only so much we can do - especially as we get older. In our twenties there are no limits to the amount of energy we can spend. We are able to waste time figuring out what we are doing and still find success because we have the spare energy to make up for lost time.

For most of us it is somewhere around thirty that we realize this was an unsustainable model. We have limits and if we were going to continue to be successful we can no longer rely on brute strength and volume. We have to find way to produce the same amount with less effort. 

We have to become more efficient - this requires strategic thinking. 

As we grow older this trend continues. So does the quest for efficiency. With the technology and communication revolution exploding around us, we are expected to produce more than ever. Between our work and family there is more to do than hours in the day. We end up sacrificing down time, recreation and social outlets to meet our demanding schedule. 

This recipe for disaster leads to burn-out, anxiety and depression. When we reach this crisis point we desperately need rest. We seek out our family doctor. She starts us on depression and anxiety medications that mask our symptom and allow us to carry on in this unsustainable pace. 

Finally we crash all together.

At least thats what happened to me. I was able to maintain this pace until I turned forty. I had been running on fumes for a few years by this time. I was still producing as much as ever. In fact my late thirties were the most successful years of my life - professionally. My family life and health suffered. When some personal tragedies fell on our home I was out of energy and my health gave up on me. 

It's funny how life steps in and sets your priorities for you when you fail to do so. I have been forced to work on my efficiencies first and let go of my perfectionism and workaholic behaviours. The job for me now is to find balance in my life. I can complicate the process. 

But it can be as simple as doing more of what works and less of what doesn't.

Taking time for reflection and introspection is critical. I grew up around meditation, my mother has taught Transcendental Meditation (TM) since I was a baby. With TM you sit quietly and repeat a "mantra" twice a day for twenty minutes. I have long understood the value of meditation and the need to clear our minds and get a break from "compulsive thinking". 

When the Buddhists talk about "enlightenment" it is described as, "the absence of suffering". The word suffering can be replaced with compulsive thinking. So mediation, and relief from thinking, may be the single most important activity we can undertake to achieve happiness, peace and success.

Unfortunately for me, sitting quietly for twenty minutes is akin to water board torture.

Fortunately, over the years I have been able to find suitable replacements for "traditional" meditation practices. In Eckart Tolle's book "The Power of Now" he tells us taking a single breath can give us enough of a break from thought to make a difference. I have found repetitive exercise such as swimming, or running works well. As a martial arts practitioner, the moving meditation of forms, or Kata, and repetitive drills also provides the break i needed. Even a short break from compulsive thinking can increase our focus and efficiency. 

We all need a break from our thinking. The absolute inability to control thought ultimately leads to insanity. 

This is why so many people shoot themselves in the head when they commit suicide - the damn thing won't shut up. 

I have recently found a new type of meditation that has produced some truly astounding results in a short period of time. It's called binaural beats technology. I won't get into the science behind it. I have been doing it for at least twenty minutes a day for the last few days. I can say that not only does it work in quieting my mind, but I don't have any trouble sitting for the twenty minutes. 

I will be investigating this more. For now I will leave you with the sample below to try for your self. The only thing you need to know is it can be played at lower volumes, you have to use stereo headphones for it to work and you should not listen while driving. 

Find a quiet place and sit and enjoy a break. 

Please leave a comment and let me know what your experience was.

Best, Sam Edge
Check out the Edge On Strategy

The Edge of Reason

"It's beter to keep your mouth shut and have people think you a fool than speak and remove all doubt." Mark Twain et. al.

I attributed the quote above to Mark Twain et. al. as there is some debate as to its genesis. Regardless of origin, this little pearl of wisdom has served me well. When I am unsure of where I stand or, more frequently, when I am not fit for Human consumption, I try to listen more and speak less. 

I learned this lesson only after many years of conflict, trial and error.

For most of my thirties I worked in an office with twenty-five employees. I was the only man. I worked there for seven years. I was in a senior management postion. Any authority I had over my employees was an illusion that I was allowed to entertain from time to time. 

Any true managing that I was able to achieve was through the art of strategic submission. I leaned more about how to get along with the Humans during those years than all the combined years before and since. Overall I managed to play well with the other kids. I learned to brush off the passive aggressive jabs that I had become accustom to having for lunch - for the most part.  

There were a few conflicts which I chose to engaged in with way too much vigor.

The delicate art of assertively setting and maintaining boundaries came slowly.  Rather, I spent many nights plotting revenge on those who I was convinced were picking on me. Ultimately I resorted to guerilla tactics. 

I would spend an entire week crafting an e-mail to be concise,  hard-hitting and full of double meaning and deniability. I fuelled fires with with phrases such as: "I understand how difficult ... I am happy to assist with ...  complex issues for a person of your .... given your limited ..." 

My objective was to exact revenge while maintaining deniability. 

At exactly 4:25 on Friday afternoon. I would send the e-mail, turn off my computer and go home for the weekend. I would be the last this the recipient would see before their weekend. They were left unable to respond. Monday they would be apoplectic. 

A little, little man   

Ultimately that job crashed into a mountain and I was eaten in the ensuing weeks. I will always be grateful for that experience. I was in the most precarious social situation I could imagine. As a result I have never since found a personality conflict I am unable to rise above. 

From this experience, I developed the single best strategy to promote peaceful relations with the Humans. I sleep on it - that's it. I don't react in the moment I go home and let it sit for a night. Almost all the time the problem resolves itself as I sleep. When it doesn't I am able to find a way to resolve it with out bloodshed or viscous e-mail campaigns. 

I still write e-mails to resolve resentments but I have my wife proofread them first. 

Today I know that I need to play well with the other kids. It's just not worth the price I pay. Besides, I need all the energy I have to be the best husband and father I can be.  I don't have the luxury of nursing resentments. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

The reason I went on this rant today was because I have been on a YouTube safari this past week checking out slam poetry and spoken word recitals. I was looking for inspiration from my own poetry and trying to get a feel for what goes on out there in the world. I even thought I could see where my place might be...  

The Edge of Expectation

"My happiness is directly proportional to my expectations."

It would be nice if people, places and things did what I expected them to do. Placing any sort of expectations on the Humans and their erratic behaviour is especially precarious. The closer our relationship is to the Human in question the more currency the expectation carries.

We all want to be treated with respect. If some schmo walking down the street doesn't smile  back at me when I walk by I may be mildly irritated at the rude behaviour - but it will be fleeting and mild.  Now if I tell a girl I am dating I love her and she asks me to pass the ketchup I will lose sleep and my feelings will be intense and unpleasant. This is because I had an expectation of how she would behave. 

When we do something to make another person feel better with no expectation of reward we are acting out of what I call Authentic Love.  If I walk passed my child's door and I see that her blanket has fallen off I sneak into the room very quietly and pull the blanket up over her so she is warm and feels safe. I take great pleasure in this and I have no expectation of reward.  In fact, not getting caught is essential.

For me, the inverse relationship between expectation and happiness is most acute in the Family. I have heard it said that "anyone who had parents suffered some form of abuse". Most of us have some sort of weird little neurosis related to our parents and our expectation of how we should be treated.  This peculiar and common tension is further complicated by differences in values and respect indicators created by personality differences and generation gaps.

I believe that all Humans have the right to be respected. In fact, I demand a certain level of respect from those who I allow in my life. This presents another problem with family - we didn't choose them. So when my expectation of respect is not being met I'm forced to ride out the relationship to the bitter and miserable end.

Or am I?

When our expectation of respect is not met in a relationship that we are born into we have to rise above that expectation. I do this by doubling down on Authentic Love. Authentic Love fill's the hole left by my unmet expectations. In fact, sometimes the expectation fades away completely. 

The act of committing random, secret acts of Authentic Love is the antidote for unmet expectations. And here's the secret - these acts don't even have to be perpetrated on the same Humans that are not meeting your expectation of respect. Any Human will do - the more deserving the better.

There is a magic that happens when we incorporate Authentic Love into our lives. The importance of the expectation fades and sometimes goes away entirely. Sometimes we suddenly realize our expectations are being met and when they are not we are able to feel compassion rather than resentment. 

Eventually they will come around. In the mean time with all of us in the Edgosphere running around committing random acts of Authentic Love the World will be a better place! So keep you're head up folks and when the Humans fall short of your expectations just Smile and Wave.

Respectfully, From the Edge

The Edge of Civilization

The Edge of Service

Happy Hump day from the Edge -  hope all your Hump-related activities go as intended.

Just a quick heads up to my readers. I will be away from my computer  and out of the service area for the first week or so of February. Turns out I have to get a job to support my new writing career - not an uncommon story from what I can gather - but hardly significant. I'm still trying to figure out if its: "hi my name is Sam what can I get for you today" or "Our specials are ... and I'l be your server Sam."

I should be able to figure this out.

Since I live approximately two and a half hours from the middle of nowhere internet service can be tricky.

The picture to the above and to the right is my Wife - Wenona walking along the Chilcotin Sand Dunes in Central British Columbia. Yes its as cool as it looks - and yes eventually I stopped the truck and let her in.

"No Cell Phones Dude"

Once I am done paying my dues, so to speak, I will be back - Edgy, Edgey and Authentic and ready to Post up a storm. Until then, keep your stick on the ice, your heads up and don't take any wooden nickels... or something like that.

I alway wonder if that was some kind of depression era problem - people getting convinced to use wooden nickels? Was this a WWII response to lack of Alloys for minting the 5 cent piece? For the record I would prefer to have a wooden nickel than a wooden leg or a wooden personality. At my age "wood", in general, is considered a good thing.

Respectfully, from the Edge.

The Edge of Significance

Photo from: www.phatstartup.com

Shortly after I started my Blog “Notes From the Edge”, I wrote a post on Success. In this post I touched on the idea that we move through the following series of stages in our professional lives (The Four S’s):

Survival à Stability à Success à Significance.

Success was not identified as an end - but a means by which a life of significance could be achieved. At the time I was sitting on a decaying throne of success and significance built on fifteen years of hard work and dedication as a Community Development Manager and Consultant.  It was my grand plan to transfer the significance I had earned in Community Development to the pursuit of my new career as a writer.

Apparently it doesn’t work that way.

I am pretty sure I knew that. Despite this knowledge, when you are used to a certain amount of recognition and acclamation in one field there is an expectation, or at least a hope, that this will follow you into your next endeavor.  It would be nice if we could skip passed the messy inconveniences of survival and stability and go straight to success and significance. There is a reason, however, why the road from survival to significance is set out as a progression.

The progression through the Four S’s is a Rite of Passage, of sorts, for Significance.

It takes a certain amount of humility to achieve true significance. Humility can be defined as “a modest opinion of one’s own importance, rank or position” or “the absence of arrogance.” I am not a particularly humble person by nature. I would prefer a stunning failure to a mediocre victory.

Humility comes hand in hand with the mediocrity and anonymity associated with new beginnings.

Trudging day in and day out, with determination and purpose, while building the talent, inventory and credibility required for significance is just like real work. I have always been an excellent builder and a terrible administrator. Over the last fifteen years I have spent ten years building significance and five years being significant … (and humble?)

Then I got bored, “reinvented myself” and - back to trudging.

My experience now shows me that the journey through the Four S’s is not a linear process but more of an upward spiral. The price of admission is lower and the path is less resistant now, as I work towards significance for the second (or is this the third?) time.  I am wiser and more efficient in spite of myself. I have learned not to make the same mistakes twice (definitely not three times). I now realize that it is in the trenches where I shine - slugging it out in the pursuit of something better. Maybe I’ll see you there.

Trudging towards Significance.

Respectfully,

Sam Edge

The Edge on God

I have been alive for 17001 days. 

I found this out from Robert D Smith, a Guest Writer on Jeff Goins' Blog. I don't follow many Bloggers faithfully; however, I do enjoy Jeff's writing on life, advice on growing my Blog and his network of talented Bloggers. A network I would be proud to add myself to Jeff ... if you're listening.

So that's enough shameless sucking up to Jeff.

I have decided that at the ripe age of 17001 days I should come out of the closet. 

When I started Blogging I decided I would try to stay in the Centre of most polarising issues as not to alienate one side or the other (this strategy tends to piss of both sides by the way). There is an issue that is a growing part of who I am that I have skirted around and managed not to come right out and own up to in my posts ...

 I'm a Christian.

How many of you thought I was going to say I was Gay?

How many of you wished I said I was Gay?

Photo credit: www.wellspringcounselinggroup.com/blog

Anyways there it is. This may not be as big a deal as I think it is but I come from a science background and there was a significant period in my life where I was either agnostic or atheist. In fact, the very mention of God, would have led me to believe that you were of a weaker and less intelligent species and sent me off on a rant on creation and evolution.

My road to becoming a Christian was slow and painful. I would not consider myself a traditional Christian by any means and my belief in God is the single most personal thing about me. So sharing it with you folks is as intimate as it gets.

I can't talk about this subject without talking about my wife. She is the reason I am a Christian and she is what I believe God had in mind when he made Christians. I am proud to be a Christian because of her. Other than my wife, there are two very important things that being a Christian brought to my life - Prayer and Community.

So from now on we will begin each post with a prayer... Just kidding.

I won't change the nature or content of my posts much. I am just no longer going to skirt around the issue. This is part of my commitment to being Authentic. But prayer is a part of my daily life. I pray with my wife and 5 year old.

My 11 year old has decided that being a Christian isn't cool and I am fine with that for now. I just put the information in front of her and let her make up her own mind.  Coming to grips with an understanding of God, or higher power, or whatever is a life time process.

So in the future when I refer to God that's what I mean.  If you prefer Creator, Buddha, Mohamed, or the Great Out Doors please, do whatever works for you. To close this post on God I will share a prayer I stole from the Alcoholics. My 5 year old says it whenever she is sad or misses her big sister.

God, 

Grant me the Serenity, 

To Accept the Things I Cannot Change,

The Courage to Change the Things I can, and 

The Wisdom to Know the Difference.

Respectfully, From the Edge

The Edge of Fear

No one wants to admit they are afraid.

A little help?

A close, honest, look; however, will show that Fear underlies all kinds of more socially acceptable feelings and behaviours including: procrastination, frustration, anger, intolerance, greed, excessive ambition, idle indifference - even dieting and exercising can be driven by Fear ... the list goes on.

I have come to believe that in my life it is Fear that keeps me from relating to the other Humans as my uncensored, Authentic Self. That's the case with me - bonafide tough guy and misfit. Given this conclusion, managing Fear is the key to my happiness.

I will openly and freely admit to a zillion defects but rarely to their true source. Fear masquerading as other, more Manly, character flaws is deeply rooted in my psychology. So deep that in some cases the source of the Fear has been lost to memory and the only the Fear itself remains. An independent, soul sucking, force that no longer requires stimuli to sustain it's presence.

Efforts to find the origin of Fear has value but often ends up driving wedges between me and the other Humans, usually those closest to me. Luckily, it is the "What" of Fear that I must understand not the "Why". The "What" is:

Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real.  

Fear is the Boogieman, the monster under the bed that keeps me from getting up at night. Fear is a choice. When I peel back the psychological defences that have been protecting my Fears I turn Fear itself on its head and the "What" of Fear becomes:

Fear = Face Everything And Recover. 

By facing fear and acknowledging that Fear dies in the light I can stop letting it run my thoughts and actions and my Authentic Self can truly come out and play.  I can only eliminate those defences that protect my fears by practicing psychological honesty. Which I will discuss in detail in my next post "The Edge of Honesty".

Respectfully, from the Edge.

The Edge of Intention

I submitted this writing exercise as part of the Trifecta Weekly Writing Challenge. I have been following the contest for a few weeks now and the content is great and the writers are talented. I may make this a weekly feature to "Notes from the Edge." Contest rules outlined below.
______________________________________________

When I took on this writing challenge I read a sampling of other authors and thought "Wow. These guys are great I'm going to try that... "

This is my eleventh draft and I am starting from a blank sheet. I wrote a poem, a story about a mean ex wife, a story about a vindictive mother and list of things that rhymed with intention. 

So I abandoned their style and went back to my own.

Ironically, my writing style is very much tied to “Intention” (or what it is that I intend to do or bring about through my writing.) My writing is based on my experiences. My intention is to use my experiences to help others. 

Some authors are very good at subtly weaving the "Prompt" into their story and evoking all kinds of feelings and abstract thought.  Being a man of unremarkable talent and intelligence, I beat my readers over the head with the Prompt and try to make a significant point in the process. 

www.susanjanemarketing.com

Deepak Chopra wrote a book called the "7 Spiritual Laws of Success." I read this book about 15 years ago and it had a significant impact on me. The Fifth Law is the "Law of Intention and Desire." Intention in this context was something we were to set our sites on and lock into - very much in line with definition 3a of this exercise. 

Once fully engaged in, and attached to, our Intention and Desire we were then to let go, or Detach (Sixth Law), of this intention and put 100% of our “Attention" into the next right thing. By this logic we reach our Intention effortlessly as represented by our Dharma or Life's Purpose (Seventh Law).  

As I write this I realise that Intention is very much my writing style. It is by Intention itself, and loosely following these Spiritual Laws, that I was able to get through this post on Intention in my own unique way in complete harmony with my Dharma. 

(Word Count 333)

Respectfully, From the Edge

Edge of Perfection

If you have been checking out the site this week you will have noticed a number of changes to the page layout and features. I have been quietly obsessing over it the last week. I've been getting some great advice from some Blogging and Writing Forums I joined and I can't thank those folks enough.

I was rebelling against the "Black Font on White Background Paradigm." I find this is so accepted that all Blogs are taking on a uni-blog appearance with little ability to set your design out from the pack. That being said everyone else in the know about on-line print swears by this colour combo as the best to attract and keep readers. In fact, it is the first consistent thing that I noticed when I started cruising Guru Blogs.

I ended up with a little of something for everyone. I kept my bold colours and cool fonts but restricted them to the sidebars, backgrounds and headings. On the posting area I stuck to the white background with black font that everyone loves. I even have a little Celtic art looking background to help me stay connected to my Tribal roots.

There are so many good, free, templates at Blogger.com and once you get the hang of the Advanced Custom Design feature the combinations are endless. I get picky, anal, and generally difficult when it comes to what I want. Unfortunately, I am not good enough at website design to be that picky. With the custom CSS feature the possibilities are endless. I am not very good at CSS, or any code writing, so I got CSS for Dummies - its was over my head. So now I am looking for CSS for monkeys. If that's too much it may have to be CSS for Mollusks. 

I chose the "Picture Window Theme" I like the layout and the variety of configuration sidebar windows.  It is themes where you can make your individual mark on your page with picture windows. I went through many before finding the right one and landed on the flowers and hummingbird as I thought it captured how I see the Blog.  This is the template I started with, the top 1/3 is the Custom Design  so you can see how much room there is for personalizing these templates.

I am actually on a short holiday (48 hrs.) with the kids. I am writing this poolside.  I have managed to get in touch with some great support group for Blogging and Writing so I may be making changes as they review my site and provide input for improvements. I am urging comments from you, my readers, regarding:

1. Content - topics chosen, if you agree, clarification, what do you like, what don't you like

2. Design - Any Questions, does it look good? Does it read easy? What would you do?

3. Format - Posts  length, cursing, frequency how many per week, 

I just started this Blog and, for all my faults, the one thing I can do is write. I am committed to constantly improving content and will always give my best. If you are looking for a new Blogger that wants to build a community and exchange ideas with you - that's me. At your service. Let me know what you like - I will do more of that. Let me know what you don't like. I will stop doing that.  

Join the Information Entertainment Revolution, where content builds success and the viewer directly drives  content! 

The Revolution is growing on the backs of pinheads like me who can afford to spend 20 hrs or more per week and not get paid and who toughed it out through three years of University English before we realised we were about to get a degree in unemployment. Ugh. Too late! We already read all the Great Authors and not only were we stuck loving them and their works, we developed a passion for the Art of Writing Prose and Poetry, this love will never leave us.

Respectfully, From the Edge

The Edge of 2013

2012 can kiss my ass. 2012 will always be the year I lost a bitter custody battle with my ex over my 11 year-old daughter - Emma. It was like losing my best friend and was the hardest thing I've had to face in my life.

I have referred to Emma in my posts but not the loss of custody. I was processing and still very much on the Edge of Grief. Now that the dust has settled, and I am well into the calm waters of acceptance, I don't mind sharing it with you folks. This Blog is about my experiences - good and bad - and how they have shaped my life and made me a better man. If I am not willing to put myself out there, to show some vulnerability, then I might as well write about someone else's life. 

Adversity has always been my greatest teacher. If not for the challenges in my life I would never have had to engage in the soul searching, the taking stock and renovations in my life that I have. I would never have learned to cherish the good times if it wasn't for the bad. This was no exception.

For years I have been bordering on burn-out from being a workaholic. I have been saying, "this year I'm taking some time off to rest." I have talked about taking up creative writing and developing my passions. I have told my family that I would spend more time with them and not be so serious and tense. But it was always tomorrow.

It was the loss of custody that pushed me to make these things happen. I took six months off work that I never would have of my own volition. I took care of some health issues I had been neglecting. I reviewed the business model of our small consulting firm with my wife and saw how we could do more with less. I started writing. 2012 was also the year my youngest daughter Abigail was born and the year I fell in love with my Wife again.

I took time to hang out with my Wife when she was pregnant rather than working fourteen hours a day. I have been involved in the early raising of Abigail and watched all the early development phases that I missed while I slowly worked myself to death during the other two pregnancies. I came to appreciate how fortunate I really am and how abundantly I live. My relationship with  my Wife and daughters, including Emma, got broader and deeper. I even came to resolve some long standing tensions with my own parents.

So since all these wonderful things are happening due to the adversity and personal anguish resulting from loss of custody I guess I should be grateful for 2012 - right? NOPE! I am a child of the Eighties. I grew up on ACDC, Ozzy Osborne and Judas Priest's, not Bob Dillan, James Taylor and most definitely NOT Kurt Cobain. You see, I get stronger and my life gets better in spite of adversity - not because of it. So ya - 2012 can kiss my ass and 2013 here I come :)

Happy New Year, From the Edge.

The Edge of the Humans

I never know which one of my posts is going to get a good reaction. This just proves that I really have no idea what is going on with the Humans. While I do recognise that we are all part of the same basic species, I feel like m interactions are part of some complex experiment. I am constantly surprised and baffled by Human behaviour. 

I have managed to identify two subsets of the Humans through my observations:

1. Easy-to-be-around-people, and 

2. Hard-to-be-around-people.

I am not sure exactly what it is about hard-to-be-around-people, but these are the people who make me tired when I am around them. They are the negative people who always have a reason why you shouldn't do something, why it won't work or what is wrong with you.  They are spirit-suckers who seem to stick a straw right into my chest and suck the life right out of me.  In their most extreme form they offer nothing useful, they produce nothing and even worse they make it hard for anyone else to produce anything.

The easy-to-be-around-people are the opposite. They are almost always content and always have a word of encouragement. They find the positive in any situation, rarely find fault in others and I feel energised and creative when I'm around them.  My wife is one of these people - she makes me a better person by osmosis because she is so easy to be around.

I don't really have much more to say about that except that I do have a choice, for the most part, as to who I allow into my life. Today I chose to have the positive people around me and I also choose to be one to those people. I don't hold any grudges against the hard-to-be-around-people life is just too damn short to waste on them. The good news is that we all have a choice to be easy-to-be-around-people. So over the Christmas Season take the time to hold the door open for an elder, give you seat up to someone who needs it more than you, say thank-you, clean up a mess you didn't make or have a real conversation with a little kid. If someone does something you like - tell them. What do you have to loose? 

Respectfully, from the Edge

The Edge of Adolescence

Well, I am well off my mark for 5 posts this past week... by 5 posts. Not to make any excuses but ... I got a flat tire, the dog ate my homework, I had a terrible flu and no one really understands me. 

I have had trouble at home with my internet connection which I now realize is on a dead tie with food and water for basic essentials to my existence.  In my absence Google Analytics informs me that my readership has broken the Iron Curtain and Russia and China have joined the party. Welcome comrades.

My parents visited a week or so ago and dropped off what is apparently the last box of things I have stored at their place. In retrospect I realized it has taken me over 46 years to completely move out of my parents house. Now if that isn't a lame enough milestone in my life the box was full of toy soldiers that I have been obsessively playing with since they dropped off the box. I have completely rearranged my office to accomodate my new toys and reenactments of battles. In fact, I have become so fascinated with my toys that I have barely slept. 

Afghan Rebels Charging my Monitor 

Many of the soldiers were broken and in need of repair, so the first job was to gather all the broken soldiers and return them to their original condition.  I do maintain a strict "no man left behind" policy. 

I then had to construct a series of shelves and levels to accomodate and display my toy soldiers and reconstruction of battle scenes.

Nazi Party plotting to overtake my Scanner

...And of course Batman overseeing it all.

In order to maintain authenticity I had to  segregate the different size groups. I have soldiers ranging from 4 cm to 12 cm so each arrangement and battle had to not only have the authentic opposing force but must be the same size. 

I consulted my 5 year old at one point who informed me that when she is playing with her dolls she always makes sure there is an even amount of each for every make believe activity scene.

I vaguely recall thinking I may be too old for this as I was planning the assault on my scanner when I realized that I did remember to include Batman to add some link to reality.

In one of my first posts on "Notes from the Edge" I explained one of my core beliefs that we move through a series of cycles from infant to adolescent to adult to elder and back to infant in our lives. It is a great gift that my kids give me that I can access what is left of the little boy in me and let him out to play once in awhile. It's fun. I encourage the rest of you to give it a try.  

Respectfully, from the Edge