Most of what we think we have thought before - they are old ideas. Some are incredibly old. Old ideas have extremely staying power. The don't go away easy, and they can drive our actions. For instance, I have an old idea that "I don't fit in." No one ever told me this it was just something I picked up while I was growing up. Subconsciously, this old idea has caused me all kinds of trouble and I have done all kinds of crazy things to overcome it.
When I became a husband and father there was no longer any question as to where I fit in. This little family that I built became the centre of a world that I was an integral part of. So the old idea that "I don't fit" was turned on its head with the new idea - "I am an important part of something."
When I describe myself today I say I am a "father of three and a misfit". When you shine light on lies they lose their power. Today being a misfit has become an ironic source of identity not a source of shame as it was for most of my life.
When I describe myself today I say I am a "father of three and a misfit". When you shine light on lies they lose their power. Today being a misfit has become an ironic source of identity not a source of shame as it was for most of my life.
Old ideas affect the way I treat myself and the way I treat the other Humans. The word resentment literally means to re-feel. We can re-feel the same negative feelings about something or someone long after the circumstances that caused those feelings have passed. These negative feelings thrive on darkness and die in the light.
One of the comments I received over the holidays talked about Facebook and how it is more like "Falseface Book" because we post the image we want people to see. Here on "Notes from the Edge" I have tried to put my real Face out there in the hopes that people who can relate to me will be able to shine light on the lies they tell themselves as well.
As we move into 2013, a brand new year full of potential for brand new ideas, what are some of the old ideas you'd like to let go of?
And what are the new ideas we can put in their place?
Respectfully from the Edge
Check out my Signature site: The Edge on Strategy
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| My true face |
As we move into 2013, a brand new year full of potential for brand new ideas, what are some of the old ideas you'd like to let go of?
And what are the new ideas we can put in their place?
Respectfully from the Edge
Check out my Signature site: The Edge on Strategy
I've always had an idea little bit like your "I don't fit in", except mine is a little crankier: I've always refused to go near anywhere where I'm not absolutely totally completely confident that I'm welcome. I never want to be "caught" wanting to be a part of a social circle that doesn't want me, preferably want me more than I want them.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to work on that this year, encouraging myself to be the geeky over-eager person that part of me wants to be. I might join a club. I'm already inflicting perfume samples on a larger group of people, in the hope of creating new perfume freaks. And so on.
That sounds about right Martha, "I"ll show them!" This old idea has either kept me on the couch or in large enough crowds that I can't be spotted as the one who doesn't belong. Its all just trickery though. I find the more I learn about the Humans the less they really are concerned with me. Most of them are too busy dealing with their own neurosis to spot mine. Don't be afraid to be geeky - nerd is he new cool:)
DeleteI find the more I learn about the Humans the less they really are concerned with me. Most of them are too busy dealing with their own neurosis to spot mine.
DeleteThat's what I've found too! It's helped me calm down a lot from this idea I had that everyone would be focused on my not fitting in etc.
Its amazing how many of us are wandering around thinking the same thing! And how much time we waste doing it :) Thanks for the comments guys!
DeleteThis was a thoroughly enjoyable piece of writing. How is it that we become our own worst enemies sometimes? I find it tricky to even become aware of these old ideas to shed light on them. A difficult but so far very enjoyable practice. Thank you for sharing these thoughts on new ideas Sam Edge.
ReplyDeleteThans Mr Jon. It is the feed back that makes this all worth while. I am finding that these things that cause me the most trouble are a common tread that brings us together in community. Great to have you on board. Please join the site.
ReplyDeleteSam